I never thought i will ever had the "Street Wise" title. I am still a traveler with less mileage as i said over and over....
I went to a short journey to Singapore few days ago. For the sake of my book writing and also i need to do some med check at NUH a hospital there in Singapore.
I meet new people, things that i enjoy during my trip. I always remember a shy version of me will never talk to anyone i know hahaha so.. a stranger would be a no option for me. I am not that very social and chatty. I had VERY LACK of self confident. Zero social skill... all i do i put the mad face-dont talk to me or ill do a mad thing to you kind of face. Not quite friendly... but everyone had their own issue i guess.
As an adult and travel by my self.. i gain more and more confident to talk with many people with different background and point of view. I know how to made a debate i know where the point i just had to shut my mouth and just keep my own opinion, even if i had to bite my own tongue.
I dont know if i could categorize that as a street wise either.
I learnt lots of lesson every time i go.
I went to Singapore because i feel im not good enough with looking for a treatment for my "facial paralysis" something that i got over 22 years because of a silly accident with my backyard iron swing. It hit side of my head and apparently cause damage to one of my nerve. Nerve is damaged cause my muscles not work and the muscles work less better then the other side---there you go... you see me smiling "differently". Not that i would like to.... but hey.. i wrote this not to made you feel bad.
Anyway... when i went to hostel in Chinatown called "A Beary Nice". I met this girl.... sitting with her laptop on, on lower bunk bed of mine. I was arrive almost midnight that time. Soon i realize she can't walk right and wear a crutches, i didnt see it before, but to be honest she got that very nice smiling face that light up the room when you see her. I envy her.... i didnt talk to her that night, just small normal conversation "can i put my luggage under your bed?" such that conversation.
Day 3 after a long day at hospital and i feel the world not so kind to me, i just cant help it but talk to this girl to find out that shes ALSO FROM INDONESIA. We talk a lot that night.
She said more than once a compliment over my achievement as a traveler, i could see that she think i am cool...... but deep down inside... she doesn't know that ME, i adore her because she travel by her self with her disabilities. She just cant walk since she was born... we had same thought about our condition that made us feel different and how its very hard to talk about our condition with our family... as they feel the guilt as well....
I adore her... because she is very strong and smart girl. I knew her for just few hours and yet i knew... she is much stronger than i am... (i weep while i wrote this).
My result came, at the end of my trip. I knew i CAN NOT do the surgery that i wanted to, to get my smile back... because the total sum of the surgery is out of my reach (over US$33000). Where on earth i could get money that much??? i cant spill all details here.
Its bit personal, but i had to write this.
I cried... i did... its hurt to know you able to do this kind of stuff to made you feel better but you dont have the tools to do so.
But i remember that girl. I remember lots of people that i met on street.. while in Germany, while i was in Thailand... i cried till my heart out i think... it was hurt... but thinking about the girl (sorry i forgot your name) that i talk with at the hostel... made me feel better... the way she look at me, made me feel stronger.
I knew i cant smile, but i knew i could brought some lights into some people life... i knew.... my stories matters for some... i knew when i look in to their eyes... i could encourage them to do the same.
I feel thankful to all people i met on street.... they change me... some made me stronger....
I know you might think you're not perfect--just like i do, but that doesnt made me not to think of you less perfect as an angel for giving me strength when i need it.
Kind of remind me of a quote;
When people think of angels, they think flowing robes and halos. But in the Bible, they also look like ordinary people. Why not today?
Joan Wester Anderson-In the Arms of Angel
To the girl that i met at hostel, (i knew SHE READ MY BLOG because once she said she did, and she knew one of my writing....)